Iraq veteran’s new battle: defeating ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’

loverde-and-crew-web.jpg

Anthony Loverde and his air crew in the back of a C130 cargo plane in Iraq. Photos courtesy of Anthony Loverde.

Anthony Loverde joined the military at 22 because he needed money for school, and because he felt a deep love for country. But the real reason, he said, was to gain discipline — to “fight being gay.”

Starting as an Air Force radio technician, he climbed quickly to the rank of staff sergeant, and then served as a cargo loader flying missions in and out of Iraq and Afghanistan. His close crew of six did everything together — ate, slept, fought a war.

While the team built camaraderie, Loverde had to lie about his personal life constantly. One summer day in 2008, a battle buddy asked what was wrong. Loverde had to let his secret out: he was gay. Military procedure required his friend to tell their commander. After seven years of service, Loverde was discharged under the military’s long-standing “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

“I fell in love with the military, but I was leading a double life,” said Loverde, a Sacramento-area native who found his way to San Francisco to study photography at the Academy of Art University. “I was forced daily to lie to my family and my crew. I reached my breaking point. But I’m determined to get back in.”

Now Loverde has joined a small nationwide cadre of outspoken former service members vying to re-enter the military after being fired under the Clinton-era law banning gays from serving openly in the armed forces.

The issue has only grown more contentious this fall. In September, a federal judge in Southern California ruled that “don’t ask, don’t tell” was unconstitutional, and issued an injunction to stop enforcing the law. The government then requested a freeze on the injunction, which was granted by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco on Oct. 20. Also in September, a Republican threat of a filibuster kept the Senate from voting on a repeal of the policy.

This week, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., rejected the findings of a 10-month Pentagon study that said the majority of troops would accept the repeal of "don’t ask, don’t tell." McCain said the military asked the wrong questions.

These developments have catapulted some gay former service members into the public spotlight. Loverde and about a dozen other high-profile repeal advocates have spoken on network news and political punditry shows about the difficulty of serving under “don’t ask, don’t tell.”

Some have even seen fleeting glimpses of success. In October, Dan Choi, a former Army lieutenant and Arabic linguist, publicly re-enlisted during a two-day lift of “don’t ask, don’t tell.”

“Today he got what he said he wanted from day one: the opportunity to serve his country in the armed forces again,” the Huffington Post reported.

On his own website, Choi laid out what he told the Army in his new contract: “I was discharged in 7/2010 from the U.S. Army because I told the truth about my sexual orientation and refused to lie about my cherished lover and partner. I do not intend to lie about my identity or family in any portion of my service.”

Choi later tweeted that his enlistment papers were shredded and the Army deemed him “unqualified” to serve.

Like Choi, Loverde is not giving up on re-enlisting. He became convinced that best way to do that was to repeal the 17-year ban.

Loverde was one of 12 expert witnesses who testified in the federal case in Riverside that ruled the policy unconstitutional. The Log Cabin Republicans, a gay-rights group, had sued the federal government on the grounds that “don’t ask, don’t tell” violated service members’ First and Fifth Amendment rights to free speech and due process.

He told the judge that he had to tell his commander he was gay for the same set of reasons that opponents of repealing “don’t ask, don’t tell,” Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., prominent among them, use to defend the policy: morale and cohesion of fighting units and overall military readiness in wartime.

“The more and more I deployed, the more I had to keep building my walls up, not talking about the holidays, significant others, break-ups,” Loverde said. “They started to wonder if they could even trust me. That’s what breaks down the morale, all the hiding.”

After he was discharged, Loverde was quickly recruited by the Department of Defense to serve again — but not in uniform. He was offered a civilian contractor position as a radio technician.

Although he is now earning four times the money he would make as an airman, he’s only biding his time until he can re-enter the military. He doesn’t care about the money, he said.

In August Loverde left for his fourth tour in Iraq or Afghanistan as a civilian contractor. He is now working from Balad Air Base in northern Iraq.

The time away from the military allowed Loverde to explore creative outlets for his activism as well. As a graduate student in photography at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco he developed a portfolio of photographs that this fall he self-published as “A Silent Force: Men and Women Serving Under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

The book depicts faceless soldiers wearing uniforms, holding the American flag or saluting, showing the human side of “don’t ask, don’t tell.”

Most of the soldiers photographed are still enlisted, and none was willing to speak publicly for fear of discharge from the military.

But Loverde is staying public, he said: “My love for country will not falter and I will continue to fight. The battle is not over.”

Loverde-in-radio-web.jpg
Loverde was discharged from the Air Force under “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” He is working as a Department of Defense civilian contractor at Balad Air Base, Iraq. Photo courtesy of Anthony Loverde.

Don't miss out on our newest articles, episodes and events!
Sign up for our newsletter


A version of this article was published in the fall 2010 edition of the San Francisco Public Press newspaper. Read select stories online, or buy a copy.